"This is fucking stupid Egbert, why do they have to come with?"
Dirk gave a shallow laugh, "I think there is a probability of twenty-five percent that this "double date" goes according to my well thought out plan"
"I think it'll be friggen blast! Lighten up Di you're always so taunt, like a string about to snap. Have fun, think of it as an adventure!"
"Yeah! Karkat, it's an adventure!" The windy boy bounced alongside his boyfriend.
"No, John, it's a fucking date. You know, because it's Valentine's Day, that absurd stupid human holiday where everyone gushes all over their Matesprits and spend ridiculous amounts of money on stupid trinkets.
Your name is JOHN EGBERT and it is the HOLIDAY SEASON. To say you are excited is a understatement. One of the many reasons would be that this is the first year you will have the trolls with you, and you are very excited. Mainly, the exciting thing is that you're spending the holidays with your favorite troll, KARKAT VANTAS.
This excites your for a variety of reasons. One would be explaining all the entertaining parts of holidays, like food and candy, and by gods, even mother fucking SANTA CLAUS. A second reason would be going through all the holiday traditions with someone who has never been through them before. Did trolls have a Christmas?